Thursday, November 25, 2010
I am writing this on Thanksgiving morning from my brother’s home in Portland, Oregon. My heart is so full as I have so much to be grateful for! I was craving expressing myself in the form of writing…so while the lil ones are outside playing touch football with the neighbors, I am nestled inside…reflecting.
I look back at where I was a year ago and feel gratitude for my relationship with me. Over the last year I have listened to the voice inside, the heart one. Because of my continuous listening & learning I today able to create the life I desire for me. I feel so blessed for the challenges that got me here so that I can awaken to living what feels like a true life.
So much has evolved & changed over this past year and it’s been just 7 months that I have chosen to live life as a single woman. There are days that go by that I feel loneliness, sadness & fear. Yet I know that these feelings are normal, natural and human & simply the lil girl inside of me asking for attention. So I listen with awareness, love and compassion. I stay with this pain until it moves through me. For this, I am grateful.
Speaking of me as a lil girl…most recently my parents sold the house I grew up in. My two brothers & I went back to the New Jersey house where all my childhood memories began. We helped my parents clean out & pack up the house and boy was that a process! Keep in mind we did this in one weekend, so the experience was quick, but I know healing happens in God’s time. I got to revisit, touch, laugh, cry and reminisce over my childhood clothes, photos, yearbooks, Bat Mitzvah albums, Sweet 16 pictures, journals, love letters, collections, trinkets and so much more. It was an emotional rollercoaster for sure and an amazing opportunity for me to practice detachment. I let go of A LOT! Most all of my childhood made its way into the donation pile or the landfill. (SORRY Momma Earth!)
Today I am feeling an overwhelming sense of gratitude for my upbringing, for my roots, the massive amount of lessons learned, memories and who I am today. I realize it’s not about the tangible stuff but what is most important is…who I am!
Thank you for reading this and allowing me to share what’s been percolating inside me on this Holiday. I hope you too have time to reflect on this day and during the holiday season. Wishing you a Happy Thanksgiving! Love, Jodi